The actual cure for a bout of the Mondays is a cup of hot lemon honey tea, a nice warm snuggle under a duvet with a toasty water bottle and two hot brothers who spend their time driving around the US battling demons, ghosts and chicks with really bad collagen lip injections.
THE CANDY
Sam is the pretty one moping in the background.
I think I just simultaneously past out and jizzed my pants.....
Do you have any idea how hard it was to find a picture of Robert Buckley with his shirt on?
BONUS POINTS
Need I reiterate? Oh, what the hell….
HONOURARY MENTION: TALKIN’ ABOUT YOUR GENERATION
While they haven’t had anyone I would consider hot man meat just yet, I have high hopes for this show. The combination of humor, a quiz show format and the potential for up to three generations of hotness at any one time could lead to some very exciting, not to mention stimulating, Tuesday nights in.
MORAL OF THE STORY
Being a middle aged woman in the fine city of Brisbane will get you two cats, a hairline of greys and a public servant job at your local city council library. Being a middle aged woman in the fine city of New York will get you Robert Buckley. Shirtless. Most of the time.
WEDNESDAY NIGHTS
LOST
Lost is one of those shows that plot points get so maddening that you almost want to switch the damn thing off so you can go outside for some much needed fresh air and Rickets reducing sunshine. Then you realise that there is a virtual buffet of hotness on offer, so you gladly muck through the unresolved mysteries and retarded plot twists.
On a related point, if I were ever stranded on a desert island, my top three items for survival in order of importance would be – sex with Jack, sex with Sawyer and then sex with that Irish guy (but only if they other two have died some tragic, most likely mysterious, death).
SELL IT TO ME BABY
Wow, Matthew Fox sure bounced back from Party of Five…..
He’s not the only one who’s wet right now.
BONUS POINTS
If your sexual appetite is so insatiable that the wet t-shirt picture didn’t do it for you, here’s one minus the shirt….
You have no idea how laborious it is looking up these images.
HONOURARY MENTION: SPICKS AND SPECKS Spicks and Specks is much the same as GNW in that it usually offers up nothing particularly outstanding but occasionally you get yourself a prime hottie. It also has the cute, likeable and non-threatening host in the form of the unbelievably sweet Adam Hills.
MORAL OF THE STORY Matthew “Foxy” Fox, may you never be long haired or clean shaven again.
THURSDAY NIGHTS
POINTLESS
This is the night of the week were I just give up on the shite fest that is free-to-air television to go late night shopping instead. Is it too much for a 25 year old pre-spinster to ask for a full SEVEN nights of man candy? Or even semi-decent programming?
FRIDAY NIGHTS
LAW AND ORDER
Remember in high school when Clueless came out and we all wanted to be Cher with her automated wardrobe, huge mansion and the sweetly cute Paul Rudd as a stepbrother? What us girls wouldn’t have given for an awkward boob grope from Elton on the way home from a mad party in the Val. Jeremy Sisto was the crush of choice for those of us who were mature enough to move on from the all American smugness that was JTT.
THE CANDY
While he may have put on the podge over the years and sports a beard to rival a basement dwelling 35 year old who still lives with his parents and only washes twice a month, it’s the fact that he brings back so much nostalgia that gets me tuning in to what is otherwise a tedious two hours of back to back episodes.
SELL IT TO ME BABY
Hey, a girl can’t help but fall for someone so vaguely ethnic.
Seriously dude, you used to be the clean cut pin up boy of our teenage years.
Not to mention, he played fucking Jesus.
BONUS POINTS Because I suspect that a shirtless shot of present day Jeremy might mean I would lose that loving feeling, I present Jeremy Sisto, circa 2003….
Did I just turn back into my 14 year old self for a quick minute?
HONOURARY MENTION: LAW AND ORDER
I know I might be a seedy pervert but two hours on any given day is more than enough.
SATURDAY NIGHTS
LIMITED ONLY BY YOUR IMAGINATION
Saturday night viewing is at the very low rent discretion of the powers that be over at 7, 9 and 10 but us girls can hold out hope for at least one tolerable movie with an attractive man in it, or at best, some kind of sporting event.
THE CANDY
Hopefully, any one of the following….
Or ideally, all three at once.
SELL IT TO ME BABY No seriously, can we start on a movie with all three of those pieces of hot in it….?
BONUS POINTS I think I nearly self combust researching this one.
Google image search is my new god.
HONOURARY MENTION: ANY SPORTING EVENT INVOLVING DAVID BECKHAM Enough said.
MORAL OF THE STORY
If the networks won’t give you what you want, time to pay Blockbuster a visit.
SUNDAY NIGHTS
BONES
I don’t really appreciate the way they manage to frequently make up Emily Deschanel to the point that she looks like she has just returned from a three day tequila bender, and most of the other cast I can’t stand, but it is a smart show with one very big reason for watching (hint: it's David Boreanaz). Also, would those two just get it on already!
THE CANDY
After what could have potentially been a disappointing Saturday night, it’s good to know we can round out the week with a good old fashion vampire perv. And no, I’m not talking about Robert Pattison or any other of those Twilight pre-teens.
SELL IT TO ME BABY
May I present the hotness formerly known as Angel, now Agent Booth, he of the sexy scowl and permanent serious expression.
You see? He’s got the brood in a bad way.
BONUS POINTS
H. O. L. Y. S. H. I. T
HONOURARY MENTION: CASTLE I haven’t yet watched Chanel 7’s new show Castle, but I was excited to see the reappearance of former Two Guys, A Girl and A Pizza Place hottie, Nathan Fillion. And in a beautiful occurrence of hot guy poetry, he just so happened to have shown his face in Buffy the Vampire as well.
MORAL OF THE STORY
Hot guys without shirts are hot. Hot guys without shirts submerged in baths of water are even hotter.
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